Love's never lost
by GinaGold fan
Summary: Kerry/Smithy one shot. When Smithy struggles to cope with the boyfriend of a rape victim, he releases a lot of hidden feelings about the rape of the love of his life Kerry Young.


Smithy was experiencing the shift from hell. A young woman had been attacked and sexually assaulted in an alley just off Broom lane, in the early hours of the morning. He had been one the first officers to attend the scene and was shocked to discover that the victim closely resembled someone he once knew.

The woman had long light blonde hair, blue eyes and was in her late twenties. She was taken to St Hughes and PC Armstrong accompanied her whilst Smithy went to inform her next of kin. At the hospital she was identified as Fiona Mackay and her next of kin was her boyfriend Robert Cross. Smithy hated these kinds of visits but especially when it involved rape victims.

Robert took the news badly. He was angry, hurt, upset and hell bent on revenge. Smithy tried to talk him out of doing anything silly and thought he had won, but Fiona told him her attacker was a member of staff from the club she had been at. His name was James Donavan and Smithy had gone to arrest him, but Robert arrived before they did.

Smithy arrived with Nate to find Robert beating Donavan with what looked like a baseball bat.

"Robert put the bat down. This isn't going to help Fiona, you or our investigation." He shouted as he entered the hallway to Donavans' house. He had his ASP out but had no intentions of using it.

"No, back off." Robert shouted as he pointed the bat at Smithy.

"Look I can't do that until you have put the baseball bat down and moved away from James. This really isn't going to help. How do you think Fiona is going to feel knowing you've been arrested for assaulting her attacker, and have now jeopardised a conviction?" Smithy explained calmly. Under any other circumstances Smithy would have applauded Robert for having the courage to stand up for the woman he loved.

Robert relented and passed Smithy the bat. Smithy moved towards him and pulled him away.

"I'm sorry about this but I'm going to have to arrest you for assault. You do not have to say anything, but anything you do say may be used in evidence. Do you understand the caution?" He said as he led Robert to the area car.

Robert didn't reply but nodded his head as he got into the car. An ambulance came and took James Donavan away, whilst Smithy and Nate made their way back to the station to process Robert. Max came down from CID once they'd arrived back into custody.

Smithy saw him and approached to find out what he wanted.

"The DI has asked I sit in on the interview. He is happy for you to lead it though." Max said as Robert was taken into interview room one.

"Right...err, yeah that's fine..." Smithy stammered, feeling uncomfortable with the situation. He felt guilty for arresting Robert for doing the exact same thing he would have done.

The two officers sat opposite Robert at the desk along with the duty solicitor.

"Interview commencing at 14.53, those present are myself Sergeant Dale Smith, Detective Sergeant Max Carter, Mr Robert Cross and the duty solicitor Simon Pearson. So Mr Cross, could you please explain to us where you were at 13.50 this afternoon?" Smithy said as he tried to remain professional.

"I went round to the house of the bloke who raped my girlfriend." Robert replied angrily. "He's destroyed her by doing what he did to her. She was a beautiful, kind, gutsy, stubborn woman; and now she is sat in a hospital bed bruised, battered and a wreck of her former self. I couldn't do anything to protect her last night, but I certainly was going to do something to get justice for her. You know what? I would do the same again." He said bitterly.

"Yeah but you haven't helped her have you? You have single handedly set this case back to the point where we might not get a conviction." Smithy replied.

"Do you have any idea what it's like to watch the woman you love being destroyed by an animal like him? Do you have any idea what it's like to watch the woman you loved hurt because she has been raped?" Robert shouted.

Smithy couldn't control his emotions any more. He got up from his seat and ran out of the interview and down the corridor to the male locker room. Max was taken aback by this very sudden change in character. He ended the interview and went to find the young Sergeant.

"What the hell was that all about?" He said once he'd found him.

"D'ya know what, it really doesn't matter." Smithy said as he tried to quickly hide a small piece of paper in his hands.

Max looked at it and saw a photo of a young woman.

"Who's that?" He asked.

"Her name was Kerry, she was the officer shot outside the front of the station four years ago." He explained quietly.

"Was she your girlfriend?" Max enquired cautiously.

"I don't want to talk about it." Smithy said as he moved towards the door. "I think we should pass this to the CPS and bail Robert. He's admitted to the assault so there's not much more we can do. I'll take him home if you do the paper work." He added, not giving Max much of a choice.

Smithy drove Robert back to his flat once the custody papers had been signed. Most of the journey there had been spent in silence, but towards the end Robert began to open up about his relationship with Fiona.

"She was always full of spirits and loved going out. I dread to think what long term effect this will have on her and on us. I mean how are we supposed to get passed this?" He asked Smithy candidly.

Smithy thought for a moment and then realised exactly what he needed to say.

"In your interview you asked if we had any idea what it was like to have your girlfriend raped. Well actually I do. Her name was Kerry and your Fiona sounds just like her. She was fun loving, enjoyed a laugh with her friends; she was caring and enjoyed her job. We met through work; she was a police officer as well. Only all that was taken from her when this animal raped her, and then played psychological games with her afterwards." Smithy explained.

"What do you mean by she **'was'** all of that?" Robert asked.

"A few months after she was attacked she was shot and murdered by the same man who raped her. Our relationship was... complicated; we both loved each other but I guess we were too afraid to admit it. The day she was shot we had just declared our love for each other, and things were finally looking good again. After she was attacked she became bitter and was heading down hill and there was nothing I could do to stop it. I didn't find out the full story about her rape until after her death, and I was even more devastated that there wasn't more I could do to help." Smithy said as he struggled to control his emotions.

"Did you ever catch the bloke?" Robert sounded shocked at Smithys' story.

"Not exactly. The bloke that did it was a colleague of ours and he lied and cheated his way through life; in fact he was working and living under his brothers' identity and nobody knew. I came so close to getting him once some new evidence had come to light, but he threw himself from the top of a block of flats after attacking me and another colleague. I don't want to see this happen to you and your girlfriend. I will get this bloke, and I will make sure you both get the justice you deserve, but you have to trust me." Smithy added.

"So what's going to happen to me now?" Robert said as he realised how stupid his actions had been.

"I've explained to the CPS your situation and hopefully they'll take that into account. Just make sure you stay clear of James Donavan and that you support your girlfriend. She is going to need your support because she is going to be very angry about what has happened; then there'll be days where she is distressed and upset; but if you work through this together you will notice the old Fiona you know and love resurfacing. Kerry and I were never given this chance, so I want you to promise me you will do this." Smithy said finally as he made his way towards the front door.

Robert stretched out his hand and shook Smithys'.

"Cheers mate for your advice and I'm really sorry about your Kerry." He said as he opened the front door.

Smithy smiled and walked back to the car. Talking about the love of his life was hard for him to cope with but whenever he did talk about her, the one thing he tried not to do was to physically show his emotions.

On his way back to the station he made a detour to the cemetery where Kerry was buried. He walked up to her grave and knelt beside her.

"Hey Kerry, I wish you were here today with me. I feel like I let you down when I let Gabriel jump from that building. I should have got him for what he did to you and to us. He destroyed you when he raped you and he took away a large part of your caring personality that I fell in love with. Worse than that though, the day he took away your life he took away mine as well. You are the love of my life and you always will be. I may not have been able to get Gabriel for what he did to you, but I'm certainly going to go now and get the fella who has ruined the life of this couple." He explained lovingly to the photograph of Kerrys' smiling form on her headstone.

He couldn't help smile as he imagined hearing her contagious laugh in his head. He placed two of his fingers against his lips and then onto the photo, before standing up again and making his way to the hospital to arrest James Donavan.

He couldn't describe the feeling he experienced when he arrived at the hospital and read Donavan his rights. He might not have got the satisfaction of putting away the rapist of his beloved Kerry, but helping those who had been raped by monsters like Gabriel Kent, helped Smithy feel like he was one step closer to getting the closure he needed.

A few weeks later Smithy stood in the witness box at the crown court giving his evidence. Relief and satisfaction washed over him when the jury returned a verdict of guilty, and Donavan was sentenced to five years in prison. What Smithy found more satisfactory than that though, was Robert and Fiona walking out of the court with his arm around her. Smithy knew that they would be fine and their relationship would survive this horrific ordeal. He was glad to see them getting the second chance that he should have been given with Kerry.

_Well Kerry, that's another one to us._ He thought as he made his way back to the station to start yet another hectic shift.


End file.
